Poets Wanted

Have you been diligently scribbling poems in the corner of your local library, wondering when the market for poetry will boom again?  Wait no more!  Consultarium, a Show Me The Money! 500 company, seeks experienced Poets!  At Consultarium, your creativity and word-play acumen will find a home.  Explore the limits of language in a moderately-paced, friendly, and creative environment. 

What will you do? 

• Write original poems for important meetings and functions of client companies.  How many times have you been at a meeting and asked, What are we doing here?  What is this meeting about, anyway?  Enough!  As a Poet, you will help set the tone and provide clarity, enjoyment, and motivation for important meetings and functions by composing original poems.   
• Work closely with the advertising departments of client companies to ensure that their messaging is on-target, vivid, memorable, and powerful. Revise all copy in all departments as necessary, paying special attention to poetic elements such as word-choice, historical references, connotations, and meter.  
• Put your love of words to good use by working closely with the public-relations departments of client companies to ensure that all of their communications and messaging put their companies in a positive light, enhance their brand, and build positive relationships and trust with the community.
• Work with high-level executives of client companies to strengthen their image by creating memorable, witty  statements that they can use when conversing with their employees, the press, and their counterparts at competing companies.  Here are some examples:
  • [Giving guidance to an employee]: Well, ya know, Tim, all experience is an arch wherethrough gleams that untraveled world.
  • [At a press briefing announcing record profits]: Our franchises are in all 50 states.  And everywhere, on all of it, the brightness of the sun.
  • [Speaking with executives at a competing company during a hostile takeover] Your lacerations tell the losing game.  You play against a sickness past your cure.  How will the hands be strong?  How will the heart endure?

Consultarium has openings for Poets in all 50 states.  Starting salary is $850,000.  Benefits package includes full medical and dental, matching 401k, full pension after 3 weeks of employment, and 12 weeks of vacation annually, not including the Employee Appreciation Extra Special Family & Friends Super Fun Getaway Vacation in Hawaii.  Come join our team!